Is it safe?

My mom just received her new electronic acupunctoscope from the Chi Institute. It's made in Beijing.

She is going to use the most modern version of the ancient ways to try and alleviate my knee pain. She would like to avoid giving me too many NSAIDs or doing a surgery on my busted cranial cruciate ligament. A chance to cut isn't always a chance to cure especially when the patient is an old guy like me.

I'm a large tricolored guinea pig

Sheila is using me to locate canine acupuncture points. So far she has mapped the Gall Bladder meridian(44 points, 88 if you count symmetries), Liver meridian(14/28 points) and the Triple Heater meridian(23/46 points). There are 11 more (classical)meridians to go. Great.

Randy said he doesn't think I'm really a dog, but Sheila says I'm close enough.

At least she's not sticking needles in me, yet.

New butterfly

Randy was doing some work on the front porch ceiling joists this morning (I was supervising) and he saw a large medium-sized butterfly, just emerged from its cocoon.

It looked like it was rode hard and put up wet, which is not surprising since it seems like it would take a lot of work to get out of that straitjacket. It's pretty amazing that a whole butterfly fits in that little casing. Randy said it reminded him of air travel.

The poor thing was much too tired to put up a fuss when Randy took this photo. Every summer he tries to take a picture of a butterfly but can never get one to sit still.

About four hours later it stretched its wings and flew off. We tried to identify it but are not sure of its species. There are a zillion kinds of butterflies! Our best guess is that it is a golden banded-skipper, or a close relative.

Needlemania dries out

Sheila and her black Sonata are rolling down to ORL and home(YAY!) on the Ronald Reagan Turnpike, an aptly named toll road.

Early this morning she saw the Monstermobile parked outside her room, but sadly there were no free samples.

Droll, verrrry droll

Randy told Sheila to expect the Summer solstice in Ocala on Monday at 6:28am. He said he wanted to warn her so she wouldn't be caught off guard if it suddenly got hot.

I'm not sure she found that amusing.

More news from Ocala

After flying into Orlando Wednesday night and taking the scenic route to Ocala(via Tampa!) because she was trusting enough to follow directions from her idiotic rental car agent¹, Sheila settled into a hot and humid learning routine. She drives about 15 miles early in the morning from her traditional Western motel to the Chi Institute in Reddick and starts her day with Tai Chi. Then she sits at the feet of the Masters for the rest of the day learning about traditional Chinese veterinary medicine.

She is really enjoying her course of study but says it takes a lot of energy and focus. I guess the Tai Chi helps with that. They are also feeding her well.

While Randy was watering Sheila's bonsai this morning he asked me if we should start calling her Grasshopper. I have no idea what he is talking about.

I have a high degree of confidence that my peripatetic mom will return to me exactly on schedule(Monday). Let's hear it for high humidity.

¹One might argue that it is not a rental agent's job to give directions. However, this person was walking around with a map asking people if they needed directions. Randy doesn't believe that anyone could possibly be so brainless and insists that this was some kind of prank, originating perhaps from a rival rental car company. Sheila told him he should get out a little more.

News from Ocala

Needlemania heats up

Sheila is off to Ocala again for another set of veterinary acupuncture labs at the Chi Institute. Most of the course is online but three trips to the southeast are required so that everybody gets to enjoy the experience of north central Florida in the summertime. Go Gators.

Randy suggested that Sheila take her scuba gear(for walking around, not diving), but she decided he was probably being facetious. Her plan is simply to swim briskly from one air conditioner to the next dodging mosquitoes along the way and hoping for the best, like she did when she lived in north Georgia(Go Dawgs). This is definitely not Berner country or Sheila country.

Nobody said cramming four thousand years of Eastern wisdom into six months was going to be easy.

Music recommendations from the humans, etc.

• Soundtrack from Crazy Heart
• Gangstagrass - bluegrass and Hip Hop fusion with the album Lightning on the Strings and Thunder on the Mic and the single Long Hard Times to Come, featuring T.O.N.E.-Z

Randy mumbled something about Nat Cole being pretty good too.

New treat recommendation from me: TJs buddy biscuits!

It's just easier not to say anything...

Is this anything?

Randy says it is part of the Apollonian gasket and hints at the mysterious relationship of the Universe to mathematics.

I'll have to ask Sheila if he has been into my veterinary supply cabinet.

My mom goes to DEFCON 1

I've been limping around on my back left leg for a few days. Since my cancer scare about a year ago my personal veterinarian has been watching me like a hawk(Sheila the vet is not as easy-going as Sheila the mom).

She was a little worried that it might be an osteosarcoma(quite common in Berners, and very nasty). It probably didn't help that one of my daughters just got done in by this short of her 6th birthday.

Anyway, that would mean bye bye left leg tomorrow(palliative treatment to alleviate pain and buy some time) and bye bye me shortly thereafter. Veterinarians don't call my breed Bernese Mountain Time Bombs for nothing!

She told Randy that it didn't seem like cancer to her(bone cancers are usually quite painful and can often be palpated), but being Sheila she dragged my butt down to Sangre de Cristo for a radiograph, in the heat of the day(whine). She had to take two shots because I wasn't feeling cooperative. Afterwards I lay down in my normal place between reception and pharmacy and tripped employees for a few minutes while Sheila held her breath and looked at my X-ray.

The picture showed nothing more than a probable cranial cruciate ligament tear in my left knee(bone cancers produce starburst patterns in the radiograph). Knee problems are quite common in dogs and humans but not life-threatening. Randy said whoever designed that joint should get a pink slip then mumbled something about "not likely" and "tenure". His right ACL has been AWOL for about 35 years.

We have now stepped down from DEFCON 1. I doubt if we're at green, though. Maybe blue, or yellow. I doubt if we'll ever be at green again while I roam the Earth, which makes me like an airport.

What is the point of having a condition colored green?