The Tao of Hoover

Perfect napping can be experienced, but never explained

Bonsai gazing down on Berners

A tree we cannot water

Prioritized list of foods, best last

• Dirt / Pebbles
  
• You Know
• Piñon/Juniper Twig
• Old Pine Cone
  
• Baby Carrot
• Diet Kibble
• Apple Core
• Regular Kibble
• New, Ripe Pine Cone w/ Nuts Intact
• Dead creatures in the yard, preferably no more than 8 or 9 days old
  
• Cheerios
• Milk Biscuit, Plain
• Cat Food
  
• Pepperidge Farm Goldfish
• Almonds
  
• Milk Biscuit with Thin Layer of PB or Cream Cheese
  
• All Cheeses and Cheese Rinds (pepper jack excluded)
• All Meats (raw,stewed, roasted, fried, baked, dried, green or not)
  
• Trader Joe's Soft Dog Treats AKA PB Newtons!

My first haiku

All Akitas and many others will laugh

Lying on the snow
Nestling deep in cool white sand --
Summer is too hot

Hoover's riddle (with apologies to Diophantus)

Yesterday morning a human gave Hoover one-sixth of the peanut butter newtons he received that day. Shortly thereafter, Hoover managed to get, through deceit, one-twelfth more from the other human. For brunch, Hoover got one-seventh of his newtons and then 5 more by acting really cute and pathetic (I'm starving!, Look! I'm begging!, etc.). To his great consternation his son, Junior, managed to get the same number of newtons he got for dinner, which was half of Hoover's daily quota. Later that night Hoover exacted revenge by securing 4 more newtons from a sleepy and confused human while Junior was outside barking at the air.

• How many newtons did Hoover get yesterday?
  
• Is he as obtuse as Sheila thinks he is?
  
• Should he be on a diet?

Berner's lament

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
One human at home
Is not as good as two.

A philosophical moment

so many treats,
so little time.